Silence is not Golden.
Preview.
As I sit here and type this I am thinking oft the phrase Silence is golden, I often wondered where that phrase came up. I still to this day don’t understand that phrase, I guess you have to be hearing to understand the phrase. As you can tell I am deaf, I was born deaf and raised in a hearing world. I never regret the fact I was never exposed to the deaf world in fact I don’t miss it now. I have to wonder who is going to read this. To be honest I don’t know who would read this, all I know is that it’s a story that should be told and perhaps someone will learn some thing. It is my story, and I think its different and unusual. I get asked the deaf question a lot, “Oh your deaf right?” Some days I nod my head and politely say “yes I am “ or “That’s right.” Some times I get the really naïve ones that say “yea right you are .“ I just shake my head and have to wonder; why in gods green earth would I lie about that. Most people often comment on the lip reading, saying how good it is. Well I feel like saying some times well I've had 30 years to perfect it, how am I doing so far, but I've learned to accept the comment with a grain of salt and hope I've taught some one something. I've said before that I've never been exposed to the deaf world or deaf community, and I don’t miss it now and that took a lot of soul searching and acceptance. I'm not saying that is right or wrong; just my life doesn’t fit in to the deaf community. Besides there is no one else in my family like no one and me treats me like I'm different. To my cousins I'm just the older cousin who is a bit odd and likes to listen to loud music (Yes I listen to music). To my parents I'm the older child who is a bit of a dreamer that makes a good batch of chocolate chip cookies, nothing like my mom though. To my little sister I'm the older one that is annoying some days and a good friend the other days. So you see it’s all a matter of choice. I choose to be a part of the hearing world now, even thought some people won’t let me forget that I am deaf. Sometimes I wonder if these people that won’t let me forget, think it’s a gift to me being part of the hearing community, however I feel its my right. My life really consist of a lot of battles that caused me to learn and to grow. Acceptance never came easy because it wasn’t at first something I could accept on the outside. It took a lot of years of frustration, heartache and tears to realize that I didn’t need the acceptance of the society on the whole but I need to accept who I am on the inside. Just to see this drove me to almost the brink of insanity. Today I like who I am and I try to remember this each day because I don’t want to go back to those dark days. Why am I writing this now, well I think that it’s the right time. I’m learning to deal with the daily frustration of losing my hearing again as I am getting older and by me writing this I am learning to accept the past and learning to deal with the future as it comes. I am also learning that being deaf doesn’t mean I'm different just a person who needs a bit of help.
Preview.
As I sit here and type this I am thinking oft the phrase Silence is golden, I often wondered where that phrase came up. I still to this day don’t understand that phrase, I guess you have to be hearing to understand the phrase. As you can tell I am deaf, I was born deaf and raised in a hearing world. I never regret the fact I was never exposed to the deaf world in fact I don’t miss it now. I have to wonder who is going to read this. To be honest I don’t know who would read this, all I know is that it’s a story that should be told and perhaps someone will learn some thing. It is my story, and I think its different and unusual. I get asked the deaf question a lot, “Oh your deaf right?” Some days I nod my head and politely say “yes I am “ or “That’s right.” Some times I get the really naïve ones that say “yea right you are .“ I just shake my head and have to wonder; why in gods green earth would I lie about that. Most people often comment on the lip reading, saying how good it is. Well I feel like saying some times well I've had 30 years to perfect it, how am I doing so far, but I've learned to accept the comment with a grain of salt and hope I've taught some one something. I've said before that I've never been exposed to the deaf world or deaf community, and I don’t miss it now and that took a lot of soul searching and acceptance. I'm not saying that is right or wrong; just my life doesn’t fit in to the deaf community. Besides there is no one else in my family like no one and me treats me like I'm different. To my cousins I'm just the older cousin who is a bit odd and likes to listen to loud music (Yes I listen to music). To my parents I'm the older child who is a bit of a dreamer that makes a good batch of chocolate chip cookies, nothing like my mom though. To my little sister I'm the older one that is annoying some days and a good friend the other days. So you see it’s all a matter of choice. I choose to be a part of the hearing world now, even thought some people won’t let me forget that I am deaf. Sometimes I wonder if these people that won’t let me forget, think it’s a gift to me being part of the hearing community, however I feel its my right. My life really consist of a lot of battles that caused me to learn and to grow. Acceptance never came easy because it wasn’t at first something I could accept on the outside. It took a lot of years of frustration, heartache and tears to realize that I didn’t need the acceptance of the society on the whole but I need to accept who I am on the inside. Just to see this drove me to almost the brink of insanity. Today I like who I am and I try to remember this each day because I don’t want to go back to those dark days. Why am I writing this now, well I think that it’s the right time. I’m learning to deal with the daily frustration of losing my hearing again as I am getting older and by me writing this I am learning to accept the past and learning to deal with the future as it comes. I am also learning that being deaf doesn’t mean I'm different just a person who needs a bit of help.
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